Tag Archives: run

Never run in Bali after 8am…

Life has been so crazy and busy lately, some things in life have unfortunately taken a back seat. I tried my hardest to do everything at once and not compromise, but of course that isn’t how life works or how humans function. I like to think I’m no mortal human, and can do everything and anything, but that unfortunately isn’t the case.

I’ve been sick about three or four times this year. I never get sick. But that is my body telling me to slow down, stop working so hard, stop doing a hundred extra curriculars, stop running 60km a week, and sleep! I got sick quite recently, right before going on vacation, from again doing too much, trying to do everything without compromise. I had all the normal cold symptoms, plus foggy thinking (helpful at work right?). But no time for a sick day when I’m going on vacation and have a two page to do list to complete prior to departing for Bali.

The incredible thing was, once I reached Bali and slept a solid 10 hours, I had recovered. It was as if I had never been sick at all. Poster girl for perfect health. Fully rested.

The only negative part of my sleep in was that I had planned on going for a run on my first morning in Bali. Again, running had been an item that got cut when busy and sick, and I was excited about getting out and exploring and also getting the legs turning over again. But, by the time I got my act together it was 8:30am and 28 degrees. The sun was out in all its glory and not a cloud to be seen.

Still, i was determined. I am running. I will run and I will enjoy it and I will survive and it will be fun (she says with gritted teeth).

For the first 2km, that was the case. I ran from our villa down to Echo Beach. It was relatively quiet, and was nice to get a feel for the neighborhood. Villas, rice paddies, small shops…dogs and young kids, and the heat was present, but tolerable.


I made it down to Echo, and stopped to take a few photos. 



Stopping to take photos was a mistake. Within 30 seconds the heat had really hit me, I was sweating profusely, and wanted to stop. But no, I wasn’t going to give in. I turned around, turned down a side street to do a loop, and kept going. As I ran it got hotter and hotter, my legs wanted to move less and less, and I started to look less like a glamorous westerner effortlessly running in her cute lululemon gear in 28 degree heat on vacay putting all passerbyers to shame, and started to look like a deranged, dehydrated person dripping in her own sweat, a dumb westerner who thought 28 degrees was nothing, or someone who lost a bet and this was my punishment (or all three combined).


Luckily I found a road taking me back to Jl  Padang Linjong (our street) that was slightly in the shade, not too busy and which only motorbikes really used given its narrow width (though I did see one car!).


I cut my run short – I had no goal but thought 5km was just enough. I couldn’t bear to be out any longer. I got back to the villa and had never been so happy to see a swimming pool. In I went, running clothes, socks and all. I was in such a rush to cool down I even forgot to take the 40,000 or so rupiah out of my pocket that I had taken in the case of emergency. 

The water had never felt so good. And I had never felt so dumb. Don’t run after 8am on Indonesia Jen. What were you thinking? Unless you want a sure way to dehydration and heat stroke. Lucky for me I decided 5km was better than 10, and was easily able to return to the villa (I hadn’t gone too far). I still had a fresh coconut in the fridge, perfect to quench my thirst and help the body recover. And it was a wonderful start to the day, good to get my legs moving again, to run again,  even at a slower (5:17) pace than I would usually run 5km. But best not push myself too hard, that’s when the body rebels and says stop. A short run, a chance to explore the neighborhood by foot, and a opportunity to clear my head and start the day fresh ūüėä

Advertisements

Saturday running along the Southern Walkway

The Mount Victoria Lookout is a Wellington must do, whether you are a tourist or a local.  It is also a top tourist attraction, ranking 4 out of 209 attractions in Wellington on Trip Advisor.  It has stunning panoramic views of Wellington city, the harbor, and beyond.  Sitting at 196m above the city, it is also not a walk in the park.

I had a 2.5 hour trail run on the agenda today, which I was really looking forward to.¬† However, I was also battling a cold, issues with my asthma, and suffering from long days at work followed by rehearsal, and had taken Friday off work to try to recover from the cough that had started to develop.¬† So I didn’t want to push myself too hard on the trails, physically or mentally.¬† I decided to stay close to home, and not venture too far in case I did need to jump out early or turn around.¬† So the Southern Walkway was perfect – close to the city, 11km each way, with lots of rolling hills, a few steeper ups and downs, but nothing too difficult or technical.¬† There was also plenty of shade, perfect on a sunny winter day like today. Mount Victoria is the tallest part of the trail, with Mount Albert a close second, so the max elevation is only 196m.¬† However, you basically start from sea level, so today’s run resulted in a total 509m of elevation gain…and as you can see there were quite a few ups and downs!

Southern Walkway Elevation copyI started this morning from Oriental Parade, near Carlton Gore Road, which is as good as any access point to the Southern Walkway Рstraight up a big hill, tough going but effective.  However, even that much of a climb was hard on the poor, tired and sick lungs.  I had to take a short break to catch my breath, before setting off again, joining up with the trails in the Mount Victoria Reserve.  Every single time I have run through Mount Victoria, I always get lost.  I take a wrong turn, and end up going the wrong way up a mountain biking trail.  I was adamant that I would not make the same mistake this time.  I was going to check every single sign, every map I came across and find the RIGHT way up to the Mount Victoria Lookout.

IMG_2421Despite my efforts, I ended up on the same mountain biking track I always end up on, and running the wrong way.¬† Luckily, there were no bikes and no collisions.¬† But still, here I was again, running a non-running path, getting lost…I could not understand how on earth this could happen to me again! Once I got over my frustrations, I found myself at the car park for the Lookout, and decided that I deserved a break, to take in some of the view.¬† And what a view it was today…no clouds, you could see all around, 360 degree views.¬† There were so many people out, so many tourists, locals, families, couples.¬† And what was best – no one on Pokemon Go.

I love the Mount Victoria Lookout because while you get a beautiful view of the Wellington Harbor, you also get to see all the buildings, all the suburbs, and it puts the city into perspective.  You feel on top of the world, it is a very special feeling.

IMG_2408From Mount Victoria, I ran towards Newtown, up to Mt Alfred, and out to Kilbirnie.  The link between the Mount Victoria reserve and the rest of the Walkway can be a bit tricky to find, once you enter residential addresses, but just keep looking out for signs.  Through Melrose Park, you run past the baboon enclosure at the zoo, and up to Mount Albert.  This was the main goal for me, no matter how terrible I felt, I wanted to reach Mount Albert, the trig station on top of it and stop to savor the view.

IMG_2417Once you reach Melrose Park, it is a brief run uphill to Mount Albert, from the baboons, followed by a small run along the narrow path (pictured above) towards the trig station marking the top of the mountain (for those who don’t know what a trig station is…don’t worry.¬† I didn’t know until recently, and Mal Law was the one who enlightened me during the sunrise run for RunFest, where we ran to this very point!)

IMG_2416And once you reach the top…Wow.¬† Just wow.¬† So much beauty all around.

IMG_2420There was a lot of stopping along the way, not only because I wasn’t feeling great and needed to catch my breath much more than usual, but also to enjoy the beautiful scenery and take some photos.¬† While I ran for 1:36, I was out for 2:10. I ran 13km overall, because once I made it to Mount Albert (9km along the way) I turned around, and headed to Hataitai to pick up my car (we were heading to a Karma Keg in Petone that afternoon so needed the car).¬† That resulted in a shorter return of 4km instead of 9km (pictured below).

Sunday July 16 Run And again, while my lungs and my body felt tired due to my cold, my legs felt great.¬† It was a really awesome feeling, and has been a really great experience, the past few weeks just going for some ‘long’ runs and enjoying them, not feeling any pain, any soreness, and feeling 100% afterwards.¬† It shows that I can push myself more, I can run longer, I am simply choosing not to.¬† Because I know, soon, I will have no choice and will have to run longer.¬† Run three, four, five hours on a Saturday.¬† Push myself and test myself, keep to a time, a pace, and try to hold onto the fun and the joy of running.¬† So for now, I am setting out with a goal, trying to keep to it, but not worrying too much if I don’t.¬† What matters most is the experience, the time on my feet, and the smile on my face when I finish.¬† Oh, and the Instagram photos, of course.¬† FullSizeRender(2)

Save

Save

Beautiful Wellington Skyline

When I was training for Tarawera, I ran along the Wellington Skyline almost every second weekend.

The ‘Skyline’ is a 12km stretch from Makara Hill to Johnsonville, so it is a semi-central Wellington trail run.¬†¬† There are a number of access points, which you can run, bus or drive to, and the whole stretch is 12km in length.¬† It doesn’t start right in the city, but it is accessible enough without a car.¬† If you are after a long run, you can run one way and back, equaling 25km.¬† Otherwise you can drop out along the way, depending on how you go.¬† I find parts of the track from Karori to Mt Kaukau pretty tough, so if I am doing it both ways, I often start in Karori, run to Johnsonville and then back (meaning that I get the tougher parts out of the way before the 1/2 way turnaround point…then it is somewhat smoother sailing on the way back).¬† I have also started and ended through Khandallah, using Mount Kaukau as the access point.¬† It is about a 6km run from the city to the Mount Kaukau access point in Khandallah, which can be a tough warm up, but a speedy cool down as you run down hill and along the flat waterfront to finish ūüôā

What goes up must come down... Oh hello Mt Kaukau

What goes up must come down… Oh hello Mt Kaukau

The ‘skyline’ combines some single tracks, a number of farm roads with roaming cow and sheep, open grass areas and beautiful 360 degree views from one coast to another.¬† On one side of the ridge, you have vast views of rolling green hills, the sprawling wind farms along Makara Hill and on a good view, like the day I recently was up there, you have clear views of the South Island.¬† On the other, you can drop down into a number of different Wellington suburbs (Karori, Wadestown, Crofton Downs, Otari Wilton, Ngaio, Khandallah, Johnsonville), with a view of the harbor, the waterfront and Wellington central itself.

The Wellington City Council website has some good information on the walk itself and a nice map showing all the access points and the points of interest along the way.

Skyline map copy

Elevation profile from the Makara/Karori end of the skyline, to Mt Kaukau, down through Khandallah and back to the city, ending near Te Papa

No matter which direction you run, you will run uphill, downhill and on the flat.¬† And no matter where you start from, it will be uphill to begin with, to get up on the skyline.¬† From there, there are some steep hills, and other valley/peak combinations, but it is generally undulating.¬† It isn’t too technical, but of course you need to watch yourself, especially when the Wellington winds are blowing.¬† It is completely exposed to the elements, and you may find yourself hugging the hill at times or being lifted off your feet mid stride by a strong gust.¬† In this way, it completely redefines ‘windy wellington’, even on a beautiful sunny day like last Sunday where at most there was a light breeze along the waterfront.¬† Well, a light breeze by Wellington standards…

While I am not currently in super training mode, I have tried to get back into my longer weekend runs, to clear my head, listen to some podcasts and get a bit more active.  One of the best things about training for Tarawera was getting out and enjoying nature, exploring new places, and having a little bit of adventure.  So this past weekend I started in Karori, at the Makara entrance point, and ran all the way to Mount Kaukau.  From here, I dropped down into Khandallah and ran back into town.

IMG_2350

Looking towards Makara and the South Island

Overall, I was simply aiming for was time on my feet, to see how my endurance was and how the body felt.  I went out with an aim of 2 to 4 hours, depending on the weather, how I went and what else I wanted to do that day.  Because I started off a bit later than planned, I cut the run a bit shorter than I originally intended, to 2:10, but it was nice as I still made it back to time with enough time to shower, eat lunch and relax briefly before meeting a friend for coffee.

I ran a total of 21km, which I thought was a pretty good effort given the timing, with 516m elevation gain and 735m elevation loss (as I started up the hill in Karori, and ran back into the city, at sea level).  My max elevation was 425, at the top of Mount Kaukau.  I was out for just under two hours thirty minutes, and listened to some nice new NPR produced podcasts. I had no pain, no soreness or tiredness, and felt totally fine during the run, after the run and the next day, which meant I definitely could have pushed myself harder and probably could have run another 10 or 15 km easy.

IMG_2351

The views up here always take my breath away

While the skyline is a close and relatively dependable track to run, and is really well sign posted, it can be somewhat repetitive and tiresome if you run it often, like I used to.¬† There isn’t much room for exploring or going ‘off piste’, as there is private farm land around, and if you ran off the main track towards Makara, you may not be able to find your way out! There is also cattle around…which you have to keep an eye out when running listening to music (or in my case, podcasts).¬† My first introduction to the skyline resulted in me running away from a charging cow who was not happy with being surrounded by approximately 15 runners.¬† I learned my lesson there and am very wary of them now.

For those who have never explored it, it is well worth the hike, even if you simply do the hike up and down Mount Kaukau on a sunny day Рthe views are definitely worth it.  Though personally, unless I am simply after time on my feet on familiar ground, I plan to explore some different trails around Wellington over the coming Sundays, to try and keep things a little bit more interesting.

Save

Save

10km? That’s nothing for you!

Sometimes there are downsides to sharing your running achievements, your aspirations, your goals.¬† When people know that you have run a half marathon, a marathon or an ultra, they base any other distance off that event.¬† “You ran a marathon and are now training for a 10km? What do you mean you haven’t trained, you just ran 42km you can run a 10km EASILY!”

The first thing going on in your head is “oh my god stop talking…it is sooooo different.”

People don’t do it out of spite or ill will.¬† But if you don’t run, if you haven’t trained for different events, it is difficult to grasp the concept that just because you ran a 60km or 100km event one weekend does not mean that is a normal occurrence for you.¬† That was the goal.¬† Now the event is complete, it won’t come around for a while.¬† It doesn’t help your training, confidence, or general happiness to hear “How many thousand kilometers did you run this morning?” when actually you slept in and didn’t do any exercise because you are no longer having to adhere to a regimented training plan.¬† And when you change from 100km to 10km races, it is a completely different ballgame.¬† Yes, you go into a 10km run without fear of whether or not your legs will hold for the entire 10 kilometers.¬† You know that they will.¬† But you want to run fast.¬† To do well.¬† To RUN a 10km race, not simply run 10km as if it was a warm up for the 100km option.

And this is one reason that for some people, it is difficult to bounce back after an event, why the post-race blues are a real thing.¬† People’s expectations are all around you.¬† No matter how hard you push them away, they nag at you, they find their way into your thought processes and affect your confidence.¬† Of course, when you are training, all you can do is talk about that, and you are proud when people ask how your training is going, what you did that day, giving you opportunities to show off.¬† So we should expect that to continue, for people to be interested and make conversation out of it.¬† For three or so months leading up to an event that was ALL you talked about.¬† Seriously, the only thing.¬† When asked your plans for the weekend, you say “Well I have a friend’s birthday party on Friday but because I have a 7 hour run on Saturday morning, I am going to have an early night on Friday and pop in for one, non-alcoholic, beverage.¬† I will then have a sports massage, go to yoga, the boy and I are having a date night on the couch (again, because I will likely be tired from my 7 hour run) and on Sunday just the vege market and chores, and a 45 minute recovery run.”

However, when that is no longer your life, when you have a break, your response is much different…and when people expect¬† you to go on a long run, to still be an ‘athlete’, it changes your perception about yourself.¬† You are no longer living up to the expectations of others.¬† And their expectations, the expectations of third parties, become your own expectations.¬† “Hell yeah I was a hard-core runner, I was an athlete, I was a machine. I wish I was like that…I wish I looked like that…I wish I could do that still.”

This is something I struggle with after every event, and post-Tarawera, it has been a long struggle.¬† I have tried to focus on other things apart from running, but the expectations still linger.¬† I’m currently lucky to run twice per week and gym twice per week, whereas when I was training, I was exercising about 10 to 12 times per week (running, gyming and yoga).¬† Part of that is life being busy, part of that is my attempt to focus on other aspects of life, other priorities that fell to the side when training took over.¬† Trying to have a more balanced life, see friends, spend time with family, travel, and not take life so seriously.¬† But still, the guilt and the sense of shame that I am not running as much, lingers.

But you know what…who cares.¬† Who cares about what others think. What their expectations are.¬† Be happy that people ask, that they care, that they are making conversation about one of your passions and hobbies.¬† That they actually listen and keep up to date with what you do.¬† And take pleasure in the fact that you did something amazing, you ran 5km, 10km, a marathon…you did that.¬† And you can do it again.¬† When you want.¬† When you choose to.¬† Don’t let others get you down, focus on you and what you want.¬† And learn to confidently say “Oh I didn’t go for a run this weekend, I’m having a break” or “I’m focusing on other things”.¬† And don’t be scared of starting again…of living up to your expectations and the standards you set previously.¬† It is a journey, it will always be, whether you have a break or keep going.¬† For me, I am jumping back on the train, slowly.¬† Slowly learning to deal with my own expectations and the pressure I put on myself to be the best.¬† Because at the end of the day, you only need to care about how you view yourself, what you think of yourself, not what anyone else thinks.

So, where is this rant going? That’s right…training for a 10km.¬† Yes.¬† I ran the 10km event in the Wellington Marathon a few weeks ago.¬† I had planned on training hard for it, to aim for a PB of 42 minutes.¬† My fasted 10km was in February 2014, the Round the Bays, and I completed it in 45:35.¬† It was tough but good.¬† I had completed my first marathon two months prior, had a few weeks off, and then did a few weeks of speed training to try to improve my speed for the event.¬† I wanted sub-45 minutes, so I was thrilled really.

This time, work and life took over.¬† In the three months leading up to the event, I ran probably a handful of times.¬† I hadn’t done much speed work at all, and most of my runs were longer trail runs on the weekend.¬† I got sick the two weeks before, and it was cold, so my asthma was acting up more than usual. And on the morning of the 10km, I didn’t want to do it.¬† I stood in the living room, looking out the window, and said to Rob “I don’t want to go. But I have to, because people will ask how I did, and I don’t want to say I didn’t do it.”¬† That was one reason I went.¬† But the main reason, the main way I convinced myself to go out the door, was I finally got to that point of thinking “Who cares.”¬† I decided to just treat it as any old run, put on some good music, go for a run, enjoy it, see who else is out there running and wave to them.¬† Don’t feel pressure, just go and do it for the love of it.¬† (Of course I had to set a small goal – just keep running, don’t stop, even if it hurts, slow down, don’t feel any shame).

IMG_2268And that is what I did.¬† It was glorious.¬† I ran with feeling, not according to my watch (which was good because my watch decided to stop working around 2km in, joining the 2nd and 3rd km as one, so my total distance ended up being 9.10 km instead of 10km, skewing my pace slightly!).¬† I looked at all the other runners around me, played mind games about keeping up with certain people, saw a number of friends out there running and waved to them and cheered them on.¬† I listened to some music, bopped along to the beats while running, and when I turned around at the half way point I thought ‘Game on.’¬† I finished with a negative split, I ran my heart out on the way home to the stadium.¬† I enjoyed it.¬† I ran with a smile on my face.¬† I didn’t care what the world thought of me, what my time would be, all I knew was that I was running in a sea of people and it felt wonderful.¬† I was alive.¬† I was flying.¬† And the best thing of all, I was back.¬† Jen Howes, running machine (in my mind at least) was back.

And a nice surprise РI finished in 48:07.  I was the 35th female finisher out of 638 (in the top 5%) and 140 out of 1,091 overall finishers (top 15%).  And 18 out of 135 in my age group (F20 to F39).  So I was slower than my PB, but I still ran a mean race.  And still finished in the top.

10km time copyKeep in mind split my watch played up during the first few km, so the first two km are actually 3…I didn’t run the 2nd km in 8:44…10km copyI probably wouldn’t have had that finish had I gone in with all the pressures I had been feeling.¬† But I tried to let it all go, I went back to basics, running because I wanted to, and I believe that is why I got that time.¬† I also know that I can do better, and 48 minutes without much training is epic.¬† If I put my mind to it, i can definitely get below 45 minutes, and who knows, 42, 41 or even 40 minutes one day.¬† But for now, I am happy knowing that mentally I overcame that roadblock.¬† That I went out there and just did it.¬† And hopefully, I can hold onto that feeling, and hold onto what it resulted in – a great time in the scheme of things, in the scheme of all other runners that went out there, that believes in themselves and truly pushed themselves.¬† I was part of that, and that is something truly special.

IMG_2270

Save

Save

Aqua jogging dates

For runners, aqua jogging is often associated with injury. You are injured and unable to run, so you become confined to the pool, joining the elderly women wearing the blue buoyancy belts having a yarn with their friend.¬† However, aqua jogging can be, and is, hard work.¬† In 2014, when I was training for Sydney, I was required to do all my ‘running’ in the pool for about a month.¬† I initially despised it and eventually I only relented because I had no other choice.¬† I could not run more than 500 meters without pain.¬† So I had to swim.¬† And after a while, I took to it.¬† I had a friend who joined me on several occasions, and despite being in the water, not going very far, I found that I got my heart rate up and I worked up quite a sweat.¬† Dare I say it, I even enjoyed it.¬† But after my marathon and after three months of rest to recover, I was able to run again.¬† As a result, I didn’t set foot inside a swimming pool for some time.

However this past Saturday, I once again ventured into the pool to jog.  Not because I am injured.  But because I wanted to.  And gosh I forgot how hard work it was!

https://jenhowes.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/c62d5-freyberg-pool-3.jpg?w=960&h=540

Freyberg Pool – the building looks much nicer than this photo than it does in real life!

When I was instructed to aqua jog in 2014, I was very skeptical.¬† I was also nervous – what do I do!? My coach told me to treat it as the equivalent of a run – 60 minutes aqua jogging = 60 minutes running.¬† Just over a much shorter distance and with much less impact on the body.¬† Most pools have the flotation belts – and while you can use those, I never did.¬† If you don’t use the belt, you have to work so much harder to stay afloat and to push yourself forward.¬† You also are more likely to jog in a more natural manner, which is important if you are injured or have tight or tired muslces (such as a tight IT band).¬† It also forces you to drive your knees upwards, stay upright and use your arms to help propel yourself.¬† It is also much more tiring to jog without a belt – so it becomes more of a workout than a leisurely jog.

You can also do a range of different ‘workouts’ in the pool – focusing on differing levels of intensity, just as if you were running on the road or in the trails.¬† You can do intervals, where you do 2 minutes on, 1 minute off, or 30 seconds at 95%, 15 seconds rest.¬† Alternatively, you can do your ‘long run’ in the pool, jogging between one and three hours at a conversational pace (a pace where your heart rate and breathing is maintained at such a pace you can easily hold a conversation with a friend – ie. you aren’t out of breathe and you don’t get tired too soon).¬† I also did a mix – longer ‘intervals’ of a tempo type – Doing 30 minutes at 80%, then 10 minutes slow, and another 20 minutes at 80%.

And it sounds silly Рaqua jogging being hard work Рbut it is.  You use your entire body, and you actually feel your arms.  After aqua jogging yesterday, I woke up this morning and my pecks and biceps hurt Рthey were sore! Not because I went to the gym and did weights, but from the action of using my arms pumping them back and forth for 60 minutes straight.  And while I was a bit skeptical even this time, before getting in the pool, I felt wonderful after.  Refreshed, energized and tired, but without any actual pain or fear of pain.  And while initially you feel silly being that person in the aqua jogging lane who is 50 years younger than anyone else, you get over that.  When done right, it is an extremely effective cross-training option. It is zero impact, and it  closely mimics the natural running form, so it provides an alternative workout that helps keep your running specific muscles active.

https://i1.wp.com/runnersfeed.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Water-Running.jpg

And what a wonderful way to extend the concept of running to people who aren’t runners – or those who can’t run or can’t run for long distances.¬† And to socialize with friends you would not normally exercise with.¬† One of my friends hates running – yet loves aqua jogging.¬† The other friend that joined us yesterday can’t run very far due to back issues.¬† But 60 minutes in the pool – no issues at all.¬† In saying that, running out of the pool still offers something that running in the pool can’t – distance.¬† There is something about running a far distance that is extremely satisfying.¬† Spending 2 hours running in the pool, I’m lucky to reach 2 kilometers.¬† 2 hours on the road, I would run about 20 to 25 kilometers.¬† So while I enjoyed Saturday, I am not going to be rushing back to the pool anytime soon.¬† In saying that, however, the mere act of aqua jogging for one hour really did help me mentally and physically get back into running itself. I’ve had such a long time off, it is scary getting back into it again.¬† I am sure I can run 60 minutes non stop, but what if I can’t? I don’t want to try in case it’s impossible.¬† But now, after 60 minutes in the pool, I’m ready to get back into it.¬† Ready to put on my running shoes and give it a go – push myself, explore, and see what happens.¬† Because what is the worst that could happen? I get tired, I stop, I rest.¬† I keep going.¬† It’s a process.¬† And I should love the act of running, and not put pressure on myself to be the best.¬† So that is what I need to remember – to just do it, just run, and just love it again.

If you haven’t aqua jogged before, I definitely recommend giving it a go. And structure it – don’t just jog aimlessly, challenge yourself. Jog at 90% intensity for 2 minutes, then stop or jog lightly for 20 seconds, and resume. Repeat four times and then have a longer rest. Or just go at an easy pace building up stamina – focus on moving your arms forward and backwards, and drive with your knee. Otherwise you end up kicking and it isn’t as efficient or helpful in staying afloat. This is a great website setting out the proper technique for aqua jogging and things to think about.¬† Think of 90 degree angles in your legs and arms, as if you are marching. It feels weird but it helps simulate ‘running’ and also helps maintain/improve technique. Most of all, it keeps your above the water!

Race Report: Tarawera 62.7km

On 6 February 2016, I completed the Tarawera Ultra Marathon.  It was my first ultra. I came out mostly unscathed, albeit muddy, drenched, tired, with two small blisters, minor chafing under my arms from the last hour of running in the rain and some scratches on my right ankle from nearly falling down a bank into the river.  But I was (somehow) full of smiles and laughs, having conquered 62.7km in tough conditions on a tough day.

It is two weeks later, and I am still somewhat speechless about the experience.¬† When I crossed the finish line, and even the day following, I was completely overwhelmed.¬† My thoughts were scattered, between “oh my gosh did I just do that” and “that was incredible” to “that was terrible why on earth did I sign up to this” and “thank god it is over”.¬† Over the following days, people would ask me how it went.¬† I changed from “it was tough” to “it went well” and then eventually to “really good”, “great” and “amazing”.¬† But at the same time, I struggle to find much more to say about it, because it was such a huge day, a huge experience and such a huge effort that I can’t truly put into words what it felt like and what it meant to me.

IMG_0904I¬†know it happened, I know I did it.¬† I crossed that finish line – I have the medal to prove it.¬† But I’m still struggling to connect my memories with the detail from that day, the detail of each hour, each kilometer, what happened, how I felt, what the course looked like and what I experienced.¬† A lot of the day is a blur, where it merged into one, and I have little flashes of parts of the day.¬† Running an ultra puts your body and mind under such extreme stress, that of course you can’t have a perfect memory of what happened.

All I know is that it took me 9 hours, 33 minutes and 10 seconds to run the entire 62.7km.  This was longer than my goal (my secret personal goal was under eight hours, the goal I told people was between eight and nine).  But you know what?  I finished. That was the main goal Рto complete the race, to make it across the finish line pain free, to survive.  To mentally and physically push through, and to prove to myself that I was capable of pushing my body to the brink, and that I was capable of testing my limits and joining the ultra community.  Of doing something I had never done before Рa trail event, an ultra marathon, an event involving hills! Eating food while running, and enjoying beautiful New Zealand scenery along the way (professional photos that show off parts of the course can be found here).

TUM_2016_004520A lot of people didn’t finish – they either didn’t start or didn’t make it over the finish line.¬† There was a tropical storm to battle with that meant flights were delayed or cancelled.¬† The forecast in the week leading up to the race was wet – rain rain and more¬†rain.¬† I kept hoping the rain would pass, but it was not to be.¬† I am more of a tropical person, who thrives running in the heat and sun.¬† So I was disappointed about the rain forecast.

The rain also meant that we were required to carry compulsory gear – seam sealed jackets…another worry of mine.¬† I had a jacket that I was 95% sure was seam sealed, but I didn’t want to be pulled out half way through the race because the volunteers didn’t agree with me.¬† My jacket was also a bit heavy, and I wanted to have as light of a pack as possible.¬† I had nightmares about my jacket and the fact that it might not be sufficient.¬† I even showered in it for 10 minutes to see whether it was truly seam sealed (and it appeared to be…the water didn’t penetrate through!).¬† But still…I didn’t want to risk it.¬† So I splashed out on a $300 Marmot running jacket at the expo the day before the race (I saved $100…totally justifiable).¬† A big spend, but it put my mind completely at ease.¬† Totally worth it, just for that mental element.

Me in my sweet new jacketAnd because it had rained the day before the race, and the morning of, this meant a LOT of mud.¬† I hadn’t trained in mud, and many people (including me) struggled with it.¬† I had trained in rain, in the wind, in the sunshine, in the dark, on trails, on road, flat and hilly…but I hadn’t combined rain, dark, trails and hills¬†all in one.¬† It slowed me down in sections, I almost lost a shoe once or twice, and I had to take extra care when running over some of the flatter muddy parts.¬† Don’t get me wrong it was fun at times – it made it more of an adventure and also gave my mind something¬†to focus on. ¬†But it also meant that some downhill sections were dangerous, with people sliding and falling over. The course essentially became a slip and slide at points, and while I managed to stay upright the whole way through, there were a few near misses.¬† We also had the heat and humidity to battle against…like I said above, it was a tough day.

Tarawera course copyBefore I get any further I will clarify one thing, something I didn’t know or think about prior to training for an ultra: I did not run the entire 62.7km.¬† I was not ‘running’ for 9 1/2 hours.¬† I was at aid stations for portions of it.¬† And I did walk¬†sections. Everyone walked sections.¬† It is a ‘run’ but that definitely doesn’t mean you are ‘running’ the entire time.

Also Рno one told me there would be THAT MANY HILLS.  I knew there would be hills, but there were so many of them.  So many ups.  So many downs.  Just over 2,000 meters worth.  I think I was willfully ignorant of the course because had I known and understood what the course would involve, I never would have signed up.  Hills for days.

Elevation profile

Elevation profile of the course. A + 2,043 metre (6,702 ft) vertical gain and ‚Äď 2,177 metre (7,142 ft) vertical loss.

In terms of my preparation, I went into the race feeling so much fitter, stronger and happier than I had ever been for another event.¬† I had trained really well.¬† I was thrilled with my training.¬† I had put so much effort and time into it and had really dedicated three months to training.¬† As part of this, I had built up a strong level of lower body strength.¬† I worked on my weaknesses.¬† I ran various different trails.¬† I had even run 55km a few weeks previously and had gotten my nutrition on track.¬† I had trialed a number of different foods to determine what worked and what didn’t.¬† I had logged hundreds of hours of training.¬† I had gone through some stressful moments where my work life, my personal life and the demands of training were all too much, but I came through the other end stronger and more determined.

I had previously experienced a dark moment during my 55km run where I stopped, sat down and cried, and didn’t think I could go on.¬† But¬†I had survived that moment, and I thought my mind was as tough as it could ever be.¬† I had stuck to my training plan 95% – which I was incredibly proud of (no one sticks to a training plan 100%!).¬† I made myself do nearly everything Greig told me to do, even though I disliked some of the plyometric jumping¬†exercises, I was forced to run on days where it was hot (and I would have preferred to be at the beach) or raining or when there was 100km/hour gale wind.¬† I was so prepared, and I went into the race with that mentality of “you can do this, your mind and body is ready.”

In a nutshell: It was a tough day, but an amazing day.¬† I had my dark moments, but not nearly as dark as I expected.¬† I realized that my mind isn’t as tough as I had expected – that nothing can properly prepare your mind¬†for an ultra marathon.¬† But¬†in saying that, I also had some amazing highs and great experiences.¬† While I was disappointed to have taken 9 hours 33 minutes to finish, I had to remind myself “You signed up.¬† You ran it.¬† You finished.¬† You are amazing – who cares about the time!”¬† It was also my first ultra marathon.¬† And my first off road event.¬† And really, to put my time into perspective, I was 19th woman out of 132 that finished.¬† I was 101 out of 322 men and women finishers.¬† The 19th woman last year finished in 8 hours 32.¬†¬†¬† So I feel pretty great about that.¬† I was in the top 30% of all participants, and the top 15% of women finishers.

IMG_0952So in light of that background, for those who are interested, here goes my attempt at recollecting that day:

The night before:  Race jitters.

After attending the race expo, registering, attending a race briefing (where the overall message was: be prepared for rain and bring compulsory gear), checking out the start line and taking it pretty easy otherwise, I realize that I need to wake up at 4am.  That meant that dinner needed to be eaten around 6pm, and ideally we would be asleep at 9pm.  I cook dinner around 6:30pm: a tofu, broccoli and mushroom stir fry, with quinoa, washing it down with lots of water and electrolyte drink.  Hydration hydration hydration.

I received text and facebook messages of good luck – I can’t thank everyone who messaged me enough.¬† It was so uplifting to go into the event knowing I had so much love and support around me.¬† It helped tremendously.¬† I also received a message from my Mom about my race number – it was the same as her birthday.¬† So that in itself made it a bit more special, as I felt like I was carrying a piece of her with me along the day.

IMG_0919I set out everything I need in the morning, having already packed and sent off a drop bag for the Okataina aid station (which had clean socks, a fresh buff, a change of shorts, singlet, underwear, extra gels, extra frooze balls, face wipes).¬† I didn’t want to forget anything so I write a list of what I planned to eat on the day, ensuring I had enough.¬† I give a spare pair of socks to Rob for the Blue Lake aid station (if needed) and pack a bag of clothes for after the race.¬† I make sure my watch is charged, my iPhone playlist is up to date and I foam roll and stretch.¬† Then at 9pm, Rob and I hopped into bed, I watch part of a TV episode to try and keep my mind calm,¬†and I was asleep around 9:30pm.

2am:¬†¬† I wake up, wide awake, only to find I am awake too early…time to go back to sleep.

4am:  The alarm goes off.

I wake up, don’t want to get out of bed, one because it is so damn early, two because I am nervous about what the day will bring.¬† I finally get up, shower, and get dressed.¬† I taped my big toes to prevent blisters, put on sunscreen (just in case) and also the bracelet my sister gave me for my birthday, which is my name in morse code, and a little keepsake reminding me of her, to help me through any dark times¬†I may experience.¬† I have a cup of coffee, two pieces of Burgen toast with peanut butter (one with jam the other with banana) and some water.¬† I watch part of an episode of The Bachelor to try and keep my mind off the race and to help me eat.¬† I make a PB&J sandwich (no crust), pack a banana into my pack, double, triple and quadruple check that I have everything I need. Hugs, photos and positive words are shared by all in our house as us three girls get ready for the 6am start.

IMG_09235:20am: Rob drives us to the start line.¬† The traffic is crazy, it is raining, and there are so many people.¬† I’m nervous but excited.¬† Not scared.¬† Not worried.¬† Just apprehensive.¬† Rob gives me a huge hug and gives me positive, uplifting and motivational support before he leaves me at the start line.

5:40am: I weave through the crowd towards the front of the pack…trying to get my Garmin watch to connect to the satellites.¬† No luck (tip for next time – connect it at the house the night before, and the morning before, not 20 minutes before the race amongst 1000 other runners trying to do the same thing).

I stand there nervously, keeping my legs moving, feeling the rain falling down.¬† Paul Charteris gives a safety message, and words of encouragement for the day.¬† I love the feeling at the start of a race.¬† My first marathon, in Jacksonville Florida, it was pitch black, and we all sang the national anthem.¬† It sent shivers up my spine.¬† At Tarawera, there is a Maori performance of sorts, and a buzz that you can almost feel it running through your body.¬† I’m no longer nervous, I’m excited.¬† I can’t wait to run off into the forest ahead.

IMG_09916am: We start.

It only takes about 30 seconds to get over the start line – some races it takes much longer.¬† We head off in a pack, and before I know it our flat section starts to go uphill.¬† We climb through native bush, up and down, and experience mud for the first time in the race.¬† People’s spirits are high, there is laughing, joking, talking, people are going at full speed ahead (me included).¬† It is pitch black and our headlamps guide us.¬† My eyes surprisingly work well in the¬†dark, probably because there are so many other headlamps around me.

After about 5.5km, I am forty (ish) minutes in, and my Garmin FINALLY connects and starts tracking my run.¬† We come out of the woods and throw our headlamps into a box.¬† We also see our first spectators – a group of people cheering us on.¬† I’m feeling good.

Hour 2:

We go back into the woods, and soon enough hit Blue Lake (about 10km in).¬† I’ve been running for about an hour and twenty minutes now.¬† There are more spectators, standing in the rain, with umbrellas and rain coats.¬† People cheering and saying “Go Jen”.¬† Rob is there too – so good to see a friendly face, even though at 10km, I don’t really need it.¬† Just nice to know he is there.¬† I then see the lake – man the lake looks huge.¬† I know it is only 5-6km around, but really, we have to run it all!

TUM_2016_007750We join up to well-formed walking tracks, which are slightly undulating, mostly narrow, and run the entire way around Blue Lake.¬† About 7/8 of the way around, we pop out at the road and there are volunteers checking our seam sealed jackets – Mine is in my bag, I have to stop and say “in the pack in the pack, that zipper!” hoping he doesn’t ask to take the entire jacket out and view it.¬† Luckily he pulls a portion out, and says I am good to go.¬† I keep running, reaching the Blue Lake aid station at 16.4km (which requires a few 100m running along the beach).

24901093855_4e47378093_oI grab a cup of water, I fill up one of my water bottles and grab a banana and a watermelon.¬† I then drop the banana and watermelon, so have to go back for more…I say hi to Rob (no real niceties here…it was “Hi, open this pocket, grab my SOS, don’t need socks, yes it’s wet, all going well.”¬† Poor thing) and kept running.¬† I am at two hours now.¬†

Hour 3 – Blue Lake to Millar Road (2:04 to 3:03):

This portion was a lot of road running… I begin to struggle mentally, knowing that I won’t see a familiar face until the very end, as Rob won’t be at any of the next aid stations.¬† That in itself is a blow that I have to get over.¬† It helps that there are people standing on the road and outside their houses cheering us on.¬† There are flat portions which are great, and I take this opportunity to push a bit harder.¬† I’m focused – the first 15km I was caught up by¬†what was going on, now I focus internally to carry through and keep going. ¬†I see a friendly face, Alan, and run up to him and say hello – we chat briefly, and it is nice to see someone I know.¬† He tells me to push on and not be held back by him, because my strength is the road (I remember to tell him later my strength isn’t road…it is flat, whether on road or off road!) but with those words I push off ahead, knowing how much off road running is to come.

TUM_2016_000893Millar Road aid station (22.8km) – three hours in:

I reach the Millar Road aid station.¬† It is manned by people dressed as Santa Clause – and it is such a party! I grab¬†a cup of coke, deciding ‘why not’ and guzzle that down, just as a photographer is yelling “Jen Jen look here Jen!” (with me thinking “oh god please don’t take a photo of me eating or drinking coke!!!”.¬† However I look up and smile – laughing in the process.¬† It’s crazy how little things like that stick with you, and make your day.¬† Alan catches up as I am eating some watermelon and filling up my water.¬† We grab a photo with the photographer, and Alan sets off ahead of me.¬† I am soon after, running past Austin Powers before entering into the forest – I pass a sign that says 18 kilometers to go – mentally that sign and warning haunted me for the next portion, knowing how far there was to go with no one else around.

TUM_2016_000858Hours 3, 4 and 5 Millar Road to Okataina (aka the worst three hours ever where I decided I never wanted to run another hill in my life) (3:03 to 5:50):

We set off into the woods and the scenery and landscape is quite different in this section. It also changes at various points – we are in the woods, we are in the open, we are on mud, dirt, then a very light clay section – and there are two solid and gradual climbs.¬† In other words – I was in hell.¬† I set off good, running pretty strong, happy, focused, and I put my playlist on – cue “Midnight City” and “We Own the Sky” by M83.

This was a long slog.¬† I expected it to take me two hours – it took me just under three hours.¬† I tried to focus on all the hard work I had put in during training, telling my legs they were strong enough and could do it.¬† But they were tired, they knew how much there was still to go.¬† I passed a few people, a few people passed me…it was hard to keep going mentally and physically.¬† I had to force myself to stop looking at my watch because it was depressing how slow this section went.¬† However, I needed to keep tabs on it to make sure I was eating.¬† During this section, I had a gel, a banana, another gel, some frooze balls – I was beginning to feel sick, the gels were messing with my stomach.¬† The coke was also playing up, a bit too bubbly.¬† My¬†shoulders hurt, my legs were tired.¬† I also missed people.¬† There were no supporters, no one cheering us on – it was getting hard.¬† I want to stop but know I can’t = I am in the middle of no where.¬† Even if I want to stop and pull out, I have to keep going to get out of the woods.¬†I¬† have a brief moment where¬†I want to cry, but I tell myself to pull it together.¬† While this feels difficult, it is nothing compared to the despair I felt in Makara MTB Park a month ago.¬† That helps.

At about five hours in, I see pale pink balloons hanging from the trees – that little moment is magical.¬† I look up.¬† I smile.¬† A feeling of happiness and joy floods into my heart and mind.¬† Just ahead are two people who had hiked 5km in from the next aid station, with a sign that says five km to go – they were cheering us all on, despite the rain.¬† I can’t explain how good it feels to see people – to know that this part is nearly over.

After that came the descent Рwe pretty quickly come down 450ish meters.  This was the hill I had been warned about Рthe one that ruins knees Рthe one I had been training to beat.  It is muddy, but it is also (finally) fun.  It is a symbol of that portion being over, with people, and an aid station, up ahead.  The trail itself reminds me of Wilton Otari Bush, and I hoon down.  So happy to go down hill РI speed past others taking it slowly, just wanting to get it over.  I feel great Рno knee pain, no soreness, no tightness over those kms.

Okataina Aid Station: YES.  I was out of the woods!! To a HUGE crowd Рthe biggest and best aid station yet.

24807609041_1deda7726b_oMy knees hadn’t given in, my TFL and IT band hadn’t played up.¬† And there was food! I had salt and vinegar chips, watermelon, a banana, ginger beer.¬† I found my drop bag and sat down, wiping my face (best idea ever to include face wipes in my bag!) and changing my socks. Oh my gosh – fresh socks.¬† Magic.¬† Brought my mood up so much! And just to sit down! I was in heaven.¬† I took my camelback bladder out of my back, knowing I only have 9ish km between each aid station to go, so I can rely on my two water bottles.¬† I chatted to some other runners here, I was taking my time.¬† I then asked for a peanut butter sandwich, I grabbed this and set off.

Hours 6 and 7 (Okataina to Humphries Bay):

As I leave the aid station, people cheer “Go Jen” “You got this Jen” and “doing so well Jen”.¬† My legs feel great.¬† Better than they had felt all day. I am also very happy that I removed the camelback from my backpack – my bag feels lighter, I feel faster, and I feel more mobile.¬† I feel great….that is until I try to eat my peanut butter sandwich.¬†¬† The volunteers used Pics peanut butter on white bread, instead of Fix & Fogg on wholemeal bread (what I had trained with).¬† And there was too much peanut butter in it.¬† I bite into it and chew…and chew…and chew…for a good five minutes until determining there was no way that I can stomach it….I can’t swallow it.¬† It was heart breaking – what do I do? Do I hold this sandwich for the next 10km? Do I throw it and litter? Do I keep trying? I drank more water to help wash it down with – to no avail.¬† I then freaked out – I need food, I need fuel, I need to eat this.¬† I decide in the end, to discard it – the peanut butter was dripping onto my hands, and I couldn’t digest that.¬† Bye bye sandwich.

Hours 6 and 7 I pass a lot of people.  I stop caring Рwe are all struggling, passing is no longer a win.

Hours 8 and 9 (Humphries Bay to Tarawera Outlet):

This section is beautiful.¬† I am running along a lake, through the forest – and some parts in the forest make me feel like I am in a fairy tale.¬† My right hip flexor starts to feel tight, so I stop to stretch it – someone stops to ask if I am ok – I am, just stretching.¬† I am also dying to pee – but the track is so narrow – there is a hill on my left and a lake on my right…no where to hide.¬† I keep going – my music helping my mind escape as much as possible.¬† I reach the Humphries Bay aid station at 49.2km – about 7 hours and 50 minutes into my run – this aid station is 70s galore! There is all the usual offerings, plus pizza.¬† I can’t think of anything worse! I told my friend Lauren I would have a bite of one, for her, but there are no vegetarian options.¬† I pass.¬† I eat a bit more solid food here than I had planned on doing, just because the gels are starting to make me feel ill, and starting to get too sweet for me.

24533326649_4a5004f899_oI set off knowing there is only 13km to go, and only one more climb.  It is nearly over.

I reach 55km and think “Yes! Home straight! This is the longest you have ever run – enjoy it!”¬† I get a bit teary.¬† It is overwhelming knowing that I am now running more than 55km, and also that I only have 7ish km to go.¬† I can’t explain that feeling.¬† Those emotions, and that feeling of achievement, helped me power the remaining 7km.

Hour 9:

I get to the Tarawera Outlet aid station at 57.3 – There are only 5km left, so I don’t bother stopping – I have enough water, I can do this, my mind is completely focused.¬† I run straight through the aid station, actually bumping into people and a volunteer yells out “Clear the way runner coming through” before giving me a high five.¬† My mind is completely focused now – I am going to finish this.¬† I know I should probably eat or have a gel, but I only have 30 minutes left (by my calculations) – I tell myself I have enough fuel to get through.¬† And I do.

From that point on, I run my heart out.  I give it everything.  It is mostly down hill, with a few short sharp uphills РI run straight up those and straight down.  I am doing 5 minute kms at some points.  I am on fire.  I think back to the 3km race pace run I did a few days previously РI now know why I did that Рto help me smash out the last three km today.  I feel happy, positive, determined.  I feel like I am in a race against the clock.  And I want to win.

I pass so many people – yelling out “on your right” – they stop and let me go by, telling me good luck.¬† I am on cloud nine.¬† I then hit stairs – who on earth puts a set of 20 steps in the middle of the forest! Only to walk up, go across a bridge of 5m, and then have to come back down again.¬† And in the last few km of the race! WHAT IS THIS!!! I race up, but get stuck behind someone coming down.¬† I try my best to hold back and be polite, but in my head I’m thinking “hurry up hurry up hurry up MOVE MOVE MOVE”.¬† Soon we are down the bottom again and I’m off.¬† I look at my watch – only 1km to go.¬† You got this.

I pass the falls on my right – I think how beautiful it is, but I don’t have time to stop and take a photo, I have to finish.¬† I stop listening to my music, and I hear people.¬† I hear Tim speaking on the microphone.¬† I see a few pacers who have walked into the forest to meet their runners.¬† And I start seeing signs – 500m, 300m, 100m, 50m…I run.¬† I run hard and fast.

9:33:10: I come through the forest, past the finish line and into the crowd of people.

I can’t stop! I run right past Tim and the woman giving out medals, and have to be called back!!!! I turn around, and receive my medal.¬† Rob jumps over the fence and gives me a hug – I am so glad to see him.¬† Tim asks me how my day was.¬† I (believe) I tell him it was tough, but I enjoyed it.¬† And that I am really glad it is finished.¬† I am all smiles, I am so happy. I can’t believe I am living this moment – I am standing at the finish line of the 62.7km Tarawera Ultra, with a medal around my neck.¬† A finisher.¬† A happy, uninjured, strong finisher.

IMG_0937I can’t remember much from that moment – what I said, what I did.¬† I just remember being so incredibly grateful to Rob for being there, standing in the rain for two hours waiting for me.¬† Knowing he was at the finish line helped me run those last kms faster – I was dying for a big hug, and the faster I ran, the faster that happened.¬† I also remember feeling so grateful to everyone I ran with on that day, who put themselves out there, and tested their own limits.¬† And to my friends, family, colleagues and supporters – everyone who believed in me and put up with me.¬† And to the volunteers, the organizers, the supporters.

IMG_0953Thinking back to the info night that I attended mid-2015, Paul Charteris was right.¬† It is a tough day.¬† It is amazing in parts.¬† It sucks in others (he didn’t lie or sugar coat it).¬† But it also changes you.¬† It sticks with you.¬† And in many instances, it is life changing.¬† I learned so much about myself in the process.¬† Immediately after the race, I decided there was no way I was going to do it again.¬† But I’ve already decided I am returning for 2017, to complete the 62.7km once more.¬† Who knows, one day I may do the 100km.¬† But now I know what to expect, I know what the day entails, and I want to go back and take it on once more.

Remember why you started

I recently moved offices at work, albeit temporarily while a colleague is on maternity leave for the year.  This meant I got to upgrade from an internal office to an external one (YAY!) with a beautiful and very distracting view of the harbor.  In doing so, I had a big tidy up, and found a post it note that I had written to myself some months prior. Post it note

I  wrote this note the day after I attended the Tarawera info night on 17 June 2015.  One of the speakers, I believe it was the Tarawera founder, Paul Charteris, told us to think about that very question: Why do you run?

Why do I do this?

Because logically, why do we put ourselves through physical exercise, exert energy, put strain on our muscles and joints, take time away from our families, spend money on an event where we essentially pay to put ourselves through hell? Have I sold it?

Because really, there are so many reasons to run, that you forget about the above, about the pain, the hard times.¬† If you run, you don’t think of any of the obstacles or the terrible things that may come with running.There are so many reasons out there: stress release, getting out and enjoying nature, to explore new places, to get a tan, to look good, to exert built up energy, to collect medals and tshirts from events, so that you can eat cake, drink beer and not feel bad, because it is a chance to catch up with friends, for the competitive aspect – there are so many reasons, and all of those apply to me in one way or the other.

FullSizeRender(12)For me, there are so many reasons why I run.  But when I truly thought about it Рwhy I have the urge to run, versus why I run when training for an event Рit is the thrill, the achievement, the internal challenge and struggle against the little voice in your head saying no, and that great moment in life when you overcome that challenge, you surprise yourself and carry on.  That moment when you realize that two weeks, two months or two years ago, your body and your mind could not do what it just did.  Those moments, running faster, running further, overcoming a tough time or a dark  moment, running a familiar course with more ease than normal Рthat is what it is all about.

To me, running is empowering.¬† If you are in the zone mentally, with the right music to listen to, perfect weather, a beautiful day, and you are in the zone physically, where you feel good before, after and during your run, you can get to a point where you are on cloud nine, you smile, you laugh, you feel like you are a machine.¬† You feel powerful, inspiring, energized, and like you can do anything in the world.¬† I’ve had a number of these moments, where I am out running and feel unstoppable.¬† Like the world is my oyster and I can tackle whatever it throws me.

That is what was behind the post it note.¬† And that is what I tried to capture in so few words.¬† And funnily enough, it really helped me to actually formulate those reasons in writing.¬† To put it down on paper, to look at it and think ‘huh’.¬† It helped put running, my passions and goals in perspective, and because I wrote it down, that passion and reason for running has stayed with me throughout my training for Tarawera.¬† It helped me through the dark times, it helped me continue to believe in myself, it helped me go running when it was raining or when I was tired, because I had to.¬† I couldn’t give up – my post it note wouldn’t let me.¬†

And it is so fitting that I find it now, with four sleeps to go until Tarawera.  Essentially, that info night convinced me that I wanted to run an ultra marathon.  I wanted to do Tarawera, it belonged to me.  I wrote that note, and that made it even more concrete: I could do it. And now, half a year later, and after three months of intensive ultra-specific training (and 375km of running in those three months!) I am about to finally run that event.  And those words and the passion behind them have stuck with me so strongly.  Even more so this final week, excited and nervous, waiting impatiently for the big day to come round.

IMG_0782And recently, I have found new reasons to run, and to run the way I do.  To sacrifice parts of my personal life to work towards an ultra marathon, to make changes to my life in terms of diet, work, socializing, drinking, exercise Рbecause I have discovered how powerful your own determination, your own goals and your own love to run can be to others.  Inspiring others through a simple act of just getting out there and running.  Doing what you always do, but for a bigger cause, on a larger scale.

My first marathon, I felt the pressure to run for others, not just for myself.¬† I was so scared and nervous the morning of the race that I became upset and worried that I couldn’t do it, I doubted myself and my abilities.¬† My Mom told me that I could pull out if I wanted to, or walk if it got too hard.¬† My response? “But others expect me to do it! To run it all! To do well!”¬† That is not the right response.¬† You can’t run for others.¬† You should never have external pressures on your performance.¬† Because running should be a passion, you should have internal reasons for doing it.¬† You may have an audience, and at times you may want to beat others or impress others.¬† But you should always be competing against yourself, not anyone else.

FullSizeRender(11)In saying that, your running can inspire others.¬† I have received such positive support from friends, family and colleagues during my training.¬† I have received messages from old friends that I haven’t spoken to in years, who have been following my blog posts and are “blown away” by what I am doing, wishing me luck.¬† I also have close friends who are now challenging themselves to do something they never would otherwise, like a half marathon.¬† So thank you to everyone for reading, for supporting me along the way, and for being part of my journey.¬† The love and support help so much, as do the messages of support, and the comments that I myself have inspired you.¬† It is overwhelming, and it helps make the struggle worth it.

And to those who do run, or have any form of passion Рremember why you started it in the first place.  Get back to those roots, because you never know what that might lead to.